The left over crap?

Today is my niece's fifth birthday.

For me that means running to buy a gift and hoping that my children allow me the energy to show the birthday girl a little special attention (although the latter is highly unlikely.) For my sister, this means transforming her house, her day, her stress into a mermaid lagoon with little pink fairies and meatloaf cupcakes topped with mashed potato icing! This amazes me.

I am not astonished to see hand sewn table cloths and banners dangling over her yard ,nor the whimsical beads draped like garland on the pre-budding trees. I am not struck by her efforts to play actual interactive games with the children including but not limited to a MAYPOLE.

What astounds me is that she is my twin sister with whom I have shared a womb and practically every one of our childhood experiences; and she has come away from it as herself and I, me. It is not to say that I would not want to actualize the magic for my children which she so naturally creates. It is simply, that I would never imagine it.

How can two women be so alike, yet so different?

She is a girls' girl. I envy her interest in all things sparkly. I try desperately to be impressed by makeup and jewels but I lack the conviction to present them. Pink is not a color I would ever relate to but I love to see my sister clad in it. It suits her. And while I think I am as happy a person as she, I find myself far more comfortable in shades of black and blue.

Where Motherhood is concerned, "baby A" seems to have a leg up on me. I love my children with all my my heart but the emphasis on bed time is far more important to me than my counterpart. And when the little darlings are fast asleep, I am hardly inclined bedazzle anything. In the "willingness to do beyond imagination for your children" category, I cannot help but feel a little inadequate.

In many circumstances, I find the girl I feel I have spent my youth protecting is stronger, wiser and more equipped to deal with life struggles and triumphs than I am. Could five minutes more experience in the world give anyone this kind of advantage?